Lifestyle Beverages: The Perfect Life in a Bottle

My wife startled me the other day when she showed me a sex-toy shaped bottle containing a pink colored beverage with the name Neuro Gasm.  I thought it was a joke.  The name, the packaging and the tag line:  “passion in every bottle”.  I could just stop here but it gets worse.  There’s a whole line of Neuro beverages for creating nearly every aspect of a perfect life.   While Neuro Gasm seems to be the flagship product, there’s also Neuro Sonic, Neuro Sleep, Neuro Trim, Neuro Bliss, Neuro Sport and if you want just plain water, there’s Neuro Aqua.

The products are marketed by Neuro Brands, LLC which is  the brain child of Diana Jenkins, a Bosnian refugee turned chic entrepreneur who has established herself into the Hollywood glamour culture.  It’s this culture that Jenkins is us using to help propel the Neuro beverages from regional fame to larger markets (right now the drinks are only available in California).  She’s recruited a lot of celebrity support for the products through slick marketing and event promotion.

So once you get past the packaging and branding (an presumably stop your giggling), is there any substance in the bottle?  I’m not convinced.   The drinks are basically blends of vitamins, minerals along with essential and non-essential amino acids blended to achieve specific effects – like the touted “increased blood flow” for the Neuro Gasm.

All of the ingredients in the Neuro beverages are either manufactured by the body or readily available through natural food sources.  Yet, some of the drinks seem to have competing ingredients.  For example, the  organic acid taurine is found in both Neuro Sonic and Neuro Sleep.  If your familiar with taurine, it’s been used in energy drinks along with caffeine to increase energy.  Yet in the Neuro line, we find it in two products that have competing intentions.  So what does taurine actually do?  We don’t know – or at least there is no solid research on taurine’s energy boosting potential.

Part of the problem for me is that there is scant research available on the benefits and side-effects of using individual amino-acid combinations to achieve specific effects.   The appeal of these products comes from the recent trends to blend a pharmaceutical type promise into an unregulated product with strong marketing and branding – yet fly under the radar of scrutiny because food is unregulated by the FDA.  Who reads the fine print on the label anyway that says:  “These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.  This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease”?

Products like the Neuro beverages are trying to find a niche for those  seeking external solutions to the poor lifestyle choices.  Jenkins promotes the use of the Neuro beverages through out the day.  On one of her blog posts, here’s what she recommends:

“Neuro products support around-the-clock activities:
7:00 a.m. Start the day with Neuro Sonic – Mental Alertness (Supports Brain Function)
8:30 a.m. De-stress in traffic with Neuro Bliss – Happiness in a Bottle (Happiness Enhancer)
11:30 a.m. Prepare for a Light Lunch with Neuro Trim – Appetite Suppressant (Supports Healthy Weight Loss)
6:00 p.m. Workout with Neuro Sporti – Recovery in a Bottle (Replenishes & Hydrates)
8:00 p.m. Have a Happy Hour cocktail with Neuro Gasm – Passion Enhancer (Supports Circulatory System)
11:00 p.m. Prepare for a restful night with Neuro Sleep – Sleep Enhancer (Promotes Restful Sleep)”

Can it be that all you need is the complete line of Neuro beverages for a happy life?   That’s what Diana Jenkins would like you to believe.

If you know anything about me, you know that I constantly remind people that what you believe is key to what you will experience.  So is it possible that someone can lose weight after drinking Neuro Trim, or have great sex after drinking Neuro Gasm?  Absolutely you can.  But more importantly, where is one placing the power of their belief.  Is it within or is it in the product.

This is why I don’t support this product.  The message steals your power to have the life you seek and places it in the product.  The message distorts your power to make you think that you need the product to achieve your dreams.  The fact is that you don’t.  The fact is that you have the power to heal and renew yourself and create the life you want.

Now if you want to drink the beverage because you like the taste, that’s another thing.  How it tastes is a different discussion.  My preference is just plain old water.  Plain water is what your body really needs and best of all, it’s free!

– Paul Kulpinski, LMT


Neuro Brands

Introducing Neuro

Diana Jenkins:  Accidental Philanthropist


Andrew Weil, MD


About Paul Kulpinski, LMT

Paul Kulpinski is a licensed massage therapist, holistic wellness coach and co-founder of Mountain Waves Healing Arts in Flagstaff, Arizona with over 15 years experience in helping people achieve their optimum state of well being. Information contained in this blog should not be taken as medical advice. Readers are advised to validate the information presented here with other sources including your personal physician for information specific to you.
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4 Responses to Lifestyle Beverages: The Perfect Life in a Bottle

  1. Anne Blair says:

    Is there a Neuro Peace on Earth? a Neuro Arpaio Resigns? I’m not buying any until those two come out.

    Really though — Neuro Gasm? are you kidding me? Neuro Bliss??? If I’d only known it was as easy as drinking an expensive bottle of unknown ingredients!

    This is going to put all of us social workers out of business, I fear. I’ll just have to find a bottle of Neuro Money, I guess.

    good grief
    Anne Blair

  2. Well… that’s quiet interessting but frankly i have a hard time figuring it… wonder what others have to say..

  3. Jayjay says:

    So yes it’s hard to wrap the brain around but I put aside all my negative head scratching ways and just went for it. What I found was that it worked fantastic and I can’t wait to get more . I had the Nero Bliss and honest I forgot that I even drank it until later that same day I felt myself in a really great mood NOT high but just like the bottle said BLISS . I better run to the store and buy like a crazy person because someone out there won’t be happy to find that others are !! They are sure to want to ban . What is it with these do gooders ? Remember when life was fun well that’s a whole new subject . Anyway enjoy while you may!! Be Blessed and NO I don’t work for the company .

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